Asperger's / Autism Toolbox
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The Image Issue
A Post by Monkey Plierson December 15, 2012
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Asperger's / Autism ToolboxH EO M The Image IssueA Post by Monkey Plierson December 15, 2012 View Blog Listings |
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I'm angry. I'm sorry, but I don't care for some of the materials that have been produced in an attempt to help neurotypicals better understand Asperger's syndrome. I know the folks that made them meant well. But a video I saw recently has me very frustrated, as some others have before it, and I think it's important for me to say why. We're facing a rather damaging image problem these days. Unfortunately, part of it has been deliberately created in an attempt to make our form of autism seem warm and fuzzy, so that the general population will feel good about us. I know it sounds harsh, but this is ultimately no better than either painting us as technological geniuses or saying nothing at all, so that the only public images of autism are those presented by epidemic promoting fear mongers and savant seeking, paternalistic super hero worshipers. I'll explain. What I've too often seen presented is a cheery, smiling picture of Asperger's as nothing more than a bit of interpersonal ineptitude, due to a combination of high emotional sensitivity and an inability to pay attention to anything but one's own interests and concerns. Now, if all people are being told about us is that we have extra strong feelings and that we're extremely self-centered, their reaction is easy to predict: They'll think we should just chill out and get over ourselves. Anyone who feels comfortable with this depiction and thinks it promotes a compassionate view probably either doesn't really think about it because they're already aware of Asperger's (possibly because of knowing one or more Aspies), or they're so knee-jerk in their willingness to accept anybody's plea for acceptance that it doesn't matter if Asperger's is legit, what struggles we face, or what the up side is to being as we are. Some information being put out into the world is good. But some of it is severely lacking. Certain efforts completely fail to address the question of why we struggle with social interactions and inadequately approach what it really means for us to have areas of interest. Little, if anything, is said about troubles with eye contact and not reading people well, so no real way to handle these things is shown. They touch upon sensory issues in only the most cursory manner. They don't even begin to deal with processing delays; limited working memory; motor difficulties; challenges with multitasking; becoming easily overwhelmed by not only sensations and emotions but also information, activity, expectations, and so on; repetitive behaviors and the needs they satisfy; co-morbid conditions; and the results of the abuse, bullying, inappropriate therapies, shortcomings of the educational system, and multiple types of misunderstanding that are common experiences for Aspies, as well as the problems associated with lack of, or late, diagnosis. And that's not even mentioning how these various factors can converge and complicate each other. Now, I know all that sounds like a tall order for something meant to be introductory. However, when I look at the amount of time spent displaying the shallow view of the few aspects of Asperger's that do get attention, I can't help thinking at least some of it could be taken to provide simple, easy to understand explanations of at least some of these other concerns. Here's an example I like to give: Imagine you're slurping up a long strand of spaghetti that's being fed out to you by a machine. The problem is that it sends the strand out at a rate slightly faster than the rate at which you can take it in. If this goes on long enough, you'll eventually be unable to keep up, and you'll have to cut the strand in two places - near your mouth and near the machine - and begin again in order to keep eating. After you do that, however, you'll still have a pile of spaghetti in your lap that will go uneaten. This is how my processing delay sometimes affects me in conversation. It's why I have to sometimes ask someone who's speaking to me to slow down and why I sometimes find it challenging to listen to someone else talk for long periods of time. Trying to engage in the give-and-take of conversation adds an extra challenge by giving me another task to attend to while I'm already trying to manage language processing. That means I have a tendency to be either in listening mode, so I can concentrate as best I can on what's being said by the other person, or talking mode, so I can already know what's going on, because I'm expressing already processed thoughts of my own. I can manage conversational exchange, especially when the other person's statements are short, but others usually have no idea how hard I have to work at it and how taxing it can be. As a result, whenever I have trouble accomplishing this, I can seem rude and disinterested in others. I realize the example I just gave took a lot of words to express. But a simple graphic could do a lot of the work, and, in a moment, the matter could be made clear. In seconds, it could also be added that this applies, like so many other difficulties, to some, but not all, of us. What makes us fall into the same category together is the fact that our various individual profiles overlap in enough of the right areas, resulting in a now commonly recognized picture known as the symptoms of being on the autism spectrum. Are we really to believe some of the things we face can't be presented this way and that there's no value to explaining a few in such a manner and then at least listing the rest, so that the whole picture can be neatly glimpsed by someone new to the subject? All of the available films and videos only provide a glimpse of what our lives are like and what we have to do in order to manage. But that's not really an excuse to represent us so poorly. It's not necessary or beneficial to hammer home only a couple of key points and then neglect the rest. My limitations are not simply defined by some kind of vague social dysfunction and stubborn self-interest. There are things I've worked very hard to overcome, compensate for, or learn to mask, so that socializing has become much more possible for me. But these skills apply to specific challenges that some educational materials, however well intended, leave their viewers ignorant about. In addition, my advantages and positive qualities don't relate to seemingly magical abilities. Only some of us are technologically oriented, and only some of what's good about us concerns being especially knowledgeable or talented in a particular subject area. You know, I've found that some people actually like it when I'm forthright with them and are disappointed when they see me trying to follow the social convention of bending the truth in an attempt to make them feel better. They know the difference between simple honesty and viciousness, and they recognize me as exhibiting the former, rather than the latter, when I speak my mind. I've also found that people appreciate my strong inclination to be solution oriented. They're able to see and feel my concern for them, even when I can't find an answer to their dilemmas or when they need to let me know they're going to find their own answers and are just looking to be heard so they can let their thoughts and feelings out. I've even seen whole lists of good Aspie qualities posted online by neurotypicals who know quite a bit about us by way of Aspies who are part of their own lives and who want to support our struggle to move freely through the world, to learn and grow, and to be accepted as we truly are. This is why as many autistics as possible, all along the spectrum, need to be heard from - and why those whose approach to us and our concerns is progressive and fully informed need to be heard, too. I'm more than a public image. But the rest of the world can't even begin to see beyond the image if the one that's being offered to them is so skewed that they're too busy being scared or wowed or soothed to want to understand the real person the image is intended to represent.
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